Thursday, September 20, 2012

Dear Senator Rouzer...

What is wrong with being a girl?

ROUZER: When we get [Romney and Ryan] in you are going to see a big change, you’re going to see number one that America is going to be respected again around the world. You’re going to see all this turmoil that’s taking place, you’re going to see them look up and say guess what, the American people have spoken and maybe we need to cut it out a little bit, maybe we need to tone it down a little bit,because now we have real men in the White House.AUDIENCE MEMBER: No girly men!
ROUZER: That’s right, no girly men.
Sexist much? Are you you saying that it's bad to be a girl? That girls are somehow inferior to boys? Well, let me tell you something: being a girl kind of sucks right now. Do you know why? BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU! You and your comrades have made it difficult for women to  get birth control, equal pay for equal work, and all around equal status in our society. You are a terrible person. Way to represent the women who voted for you!

You can fuck right off!

And now it's back to my Intro to Queer Studies homework.


Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Karma Chameleon

So on September 30, 2011, I walked into the home improvement store where I work and all the cashiers were freaking out because a lizard had jumped off of one of the tropical plants. The way that they were acting, I thought a Komodo Dragon was wandering around the store, eating people. At the very least, I thought it was a good size lizard, maybe a gecko. I look under the registers and see this tiny little lizard that was about two inches long and about 1/4 inch thick. After making fun of my colleagues for being afraid of something so harmless, I put her in a bucket and declared her my new pet. My friend (who for the purpose of this blog will be called J) had her mom bring up the terrarium that used to house her tarantulas and gave it to me. We decided to call her Karma after the song, Karma Chameleon. Now, I am aware that Karma was a Cuban anole, not a chameleon, but I love 80's pop music, so I didn't care.
Karma, just relaxing.

Karma, next to a penny.

Today, September 10, 2012, I turned Karma's heat lamp on and started spritzing her new terrarium down with water to wake her and the crickets that we had given her up. Usually, when I mist the tank, she ran under her plant to get away from the water, but today I saw no movement. I looked around the tank and there she was, floating in the little pond that I built for her new, bigger tank. I cried and called for my fiance. Then I tried misting her, just to make sure. It didn't work, she was dead.

As I write this, I'm going through the grieving process. I know it's weird, grieving for a tiny lizard who hated me and I'm pretty sure wanted me dead, but I was attached. As atheists, we must go through watching the people and pets that we love die with no hope of seeing them in an afterlife. This makes it harder to deal with death, I think. I know that I won't see my loved ones after I die, but it makes it so much sweeter because I can fully appreciate the time I had with them here. I can remember the silly times with my grandpa and uncle, that first time I laid eyes on my amazing puppy that I would love for 17 years, and the time I rescued a lizard from eventually dying of starvation or cold. These experiences make us who we are, and I'm glad that I am having them without religion clouding my memories.


Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Dear Victoria Jackson...

What the fuck is wrong with you?

"And guess what?" she continued. "If I got raped, I would have the baby. And if I didn't want to keep it because I had these [mocking tone] horrible nightmares, I would adopt it out."
     That's nice and all, but you can't tell me how you would actually respond psychologically if you were raped. Do you know why? Because you have never been raped. You said so. You don't know if you will dread living every day because they might call you. You don't know what it's like to have your own father ask "Well, what were you wearing?" You don't know what it's like to have your family be friends with the person who took away your feeling of security. You don't know what it's like to be afraid every day that the person you love will leave you because they don't want to put up with your random freak outs and having to have the therapist on speed dial.
     You are a terrible person. Fuck off.


PS... UHF is one of my favorite movies. Every time I watch it now, I am going to think of this. You suck. That is all.